The Journal page for our Nephew Ryan is a Butterfly. The Butterfly is a symbol of transformation or moving from one form into a new form. Ryan left behind the cancer and frail body, and moved on into a whole new unblemished spiritual body. I think of Ryan daily, and always see his beautiful "bashful" smile.

Today I finished my two "pages" for March. The Journal page for my Grandson Chris, is a Dragonfly. The Dragonfly represents loss, and change. I see the Dragonfly as a reminder that Chris's spirit is always with us. The Dragonfly is a reminder also to embrace the spiritual light within ourselves. I had hoped by now that it would be getting easier..not so. Its still so hard knowing that he is lost to us here on earth. I know we will be together on a greater plane, at some time in the future.

I have finally photographed my other January square for my journal in honor of my Nephew Ryan Williams. He wanted so much to be a policeman and attained that goal. He loved his work and the people that he worked with. Ryan had a great smile that you couldn't ignore. He was and is so very much loved and missed.

I have completed my third watercolor, it is of course another bird. I love all the little birds that show up at our feeder at various times of year. Now back to beading for awhile.

Well I finished my small 4x6 acrylic painting of Ahna Iredales Pottery shop. I took a photo of her shop on a beautiful summer day three years ago and have always wanted to paint it in oils, but decided to do it in acrylics instead. It turned out well. Today is another rainy dark and overcast day. I am going to go check the mail and see if my bead order has arrived. Hope so. Then I need to work on my other January Bead Journal page. Keeping them simple will be a benefit since I am working on two.

Well the month of February has been very wet and chilly. It rained all night last night and now the winds are picking up. I am working on a couple of acrylic/watercolor paintings in between beading. Grief is such a draining emotion. I keep hoping that it will soften quicker. I am being selfish thinking of my own grief when Ryan and Chris's parents must still be aching so badly. Projects, projects, projects. Staying busy is best. Both beading and painting are such calming and meditative past times, and yet memories slip in and drag you down again, even when they are happy memories. Well, maybe today its the weather working against me. Anyway, I will post the first painting that I have finished. (Note: I entered this painting in the Spring Show of the Kachemak Bay Watercolor Society and surprise!! It sold. Wow, how great. )

This is my second February "page" for the journal dedicated to my Nephew Ryan who lost his battle with cancer. The three hearts within the broken heart represent his Mom Janna and his Dad Ken and Brother Wade. The three stars above the heart represent the three small children that Ryan had to leave behind. What a battle they all waged, but life goes the way it goes, no matter how much we want to change the outcome. Ryan is so missed, by so many.